Delhi after 2.5years... and Life after a MBA

Fire love(in low resolution)

Disclaimer: All view's expressed about Delhi are purely personal. No intentions to hurt anyone's love for this land.

So, it’s obvious this post is about Delhi(not Dilli) and me … When I was first coming to Delhi, I was super excited, coming to the country’s capital, the land of paratha’s and chole bhatura’s, the land that belongs to none and still has everyone, the land where Indian Polity comes for its climax. But after spending about 900 days here, I regret to inform that this place is nothing like I had hoped for it to be. I feel it has lost its old world charm (You must be like Huh! What does she know, I lived here about 20 years ago) and has become a place that belongs to NOONE. The place has become truly and utterly chaotic… it starts from the weather to the traffic, from homes to basic safety needs, from your neighbors to the random road rage. It’s plain crazy!!

Delhi is so cruel in terms of weather – “garmi aisi ki kaha nahi jaye and sardi aisi ki saha nahi jaye” and in between you have the great monsoon that Delhites are least prepared for. For me personally you have only two months in Delhi – summer and winter. From April to October you have summers, and please bear in mind that this is all kinds of summers, from the dry raw heat to the sweaty, sticky humid heat. Okay, just to be fair I need to mention that Delhi does have a monsoon too, but unlike most places where the monsoon brings down the temperature, in Delhi what is does is it modifies the dry raw head to a sweaty, sticky and humid heat. And since Delhi is not supposed to receive much rain, you can just imagine the mayhem on Delhi roads post a tiny drizzle. From October starts winter… for the first two months you will be like, “This is Okay… I can enjoy this weather.” Enter December!! Your hands and legs freeze up like ice in the arctic. The amount of time it takes you to get dressed (with all the winter wear) is crazy!! It’s like getting ready to go on WAR! (The good thing about this is that it allows you to forget about your figure – everyone looks about the same considering the amount of clothing we wear).

I guess Delhi is currently so very representative of my life after MBA – it’s utterly and truly chaotic. Not sure if it’s my inability/incompetence or how life just is… but managing a home and working is turning out to be one mammoth task for me. It feels like I just do not have any time for myself. Life has become one big circle, starting point home, ending point home and in between there’s WORK. My friends keep telling me that I will get the hang of it – eventually… but it seems like a distant dream.

Bringing my focus back to Delhi, I guess the chaos is not limited to this place. All the big cities have their share of chaos, each their own flavor, but yes chaos none the less. Now when I travel to smaller towns, I can visibly see the difference in the pace of life. It’s a much more relaxed life… I wonder if some day we would be facing the phenomenon of reverse urbanization – People leaving chaotic cities to live in the calming countryside. Now that would be some sight – wouldn’t it?

PS: -Check out the number of times I’ve used the word crazzzyyyy – goes on to show my state of mind.

At cross roads

After a long long hiatus, I’m back, back with something profound and deep. It’s something that I believe needs everyone to ponder on to really realize the power of the idea.

So, finally I’m done with my formal education (I say formal because I believe education happens throughout your life). With two decades of education (14 years of schooling, 4 years of graduation and 2 years of post graduation) behind me I still find myself at crossroads. Maybe it’s an assumption that I am making, but I believe that our generation is struck between two worlds. One is the world that belonged to our parents and one is a world that could be ours that we ‘think’ we want.

My generation is programmed to achieve, to compete, to on the top and being second is just not good enough. The focus for us is education from good schools and college which will lead to good money, growth etc. But are we missing out on LIFE instead? Are we focused only on our work? How about a day just to contemplate on how life is? How about reading that book that could change the way you perceive the world? How about a fun evening with the street kids that made you go back to your childhood? What about those lovely summer vacations you took to your grandparents place? How much money/ growth do you think you need to have to get that summer break to you grandparent’s house? Haven’t we somewhere lost the purpose of it all?

Possibly it’s a phenomenon that not just the generation but the whole country is suffering. ‘Growth’ is the buzz word. But are we considering growth to be holistic and complete or are we just looking at the growth in a superficial sense. When we focus so much on growing an achieving are we really being holistic in our approach. Do we give equal importance to having a family and work? Are we as a country considering growth only as a something that is seen in GDP numbers or in terms of how safe our country is or how happy the country is?

We came up with the most important number ‘0’ and now our life is all about numbers. How good a kid is depends on the numbers in his report card, how well a person is doing depends on the numbers in his paycheck, how successful a person is depends on how many ‘years’ he took to get there, how good a product is depends on how costly it is… its numbers numbers numbers everywhere!!!

The reason I draw a parallel between the society and self is because I believe for a transformation to happen, it needs to start from the self. From self to the society – is the way to go. So maybe if each one of us makes an effort to be more holistic in our approach… we can together impact the way the society functions. So I guess it will be our generation that is struck at these crossroads, that has to take the decision, that has to give a direction for generations to come. But why me? Why do we have to take the call? Because fortunately we have been exposed to both these extremes and we are the only generation that can envision where each of these paths will eventually take us.

My time has come...

Photo courtesy: My wedding photographer - SKLensMagic

Disclaimer: This is a girl's perspective.

It is one of those paradoxical things in life. You want it sometimes and you don’t want it at others. People(especially boys and these days girls are joining in) always tend to swing like a pendulum in this aspect and that is “MARRIAGE”. I had earlier talked about how the meaning of marriage has changed over a period of time for me (Check out that post here), but now as I get closer to the actual act myself, my perspective seems to have changed, from an outsider to an insider.

(Fortunately/Unfortunately – Not sure which one should come) time has come for me to experience this exciting and treacherous journey. J :D K :/ L :’(

These are the emotions that I feel.
Strange? The weirdest part is you feel two ways about exactly the same thing.

INDEPENDENCE – finally you are going to be independent, you life is your own. “Yaaayyyy!!” In the very next second you feel, oh shit! That means I have to do everything on my own, from electricity bills to getting the vegetables, from getting a locker in the bank to making budget plans… you got to do it all. “Shitttt!”

NEW HOME – Now you can decorate things exactly the way you like. No ugly curtains. No shady bed sheets. Everything will be oooohh so perfect and propa! On the flip side that also means I got to do all the safai. Band ghar me itni dhul kahan se aati hai? Weekly dusting? How can I relax on weekends? Ek vase ke liye itne sare paise? Budgeting!! Monthly groceries?!?

NEW FAMILY – It’s just gonna be me and him. Life’s gonna be soo cool and perfect. Like a fairy tale. He understands me and my needs, unlike my parents, he’s from this generation right?(The same goes for me too) So…. Things won’t be the same, he will “GET” me. But what happens is… “Ghar itna late aaye?, ek phone nai kar sakthe thi?” “Tum apne socks washing machine me kyun nahi daal sakthe?” “Aaj khana kaun banayega?”

I’m not saying that none of the good’s happen only the bad’s do. All I’m saying is when you go into imagination mode, you feel diametrically opposite about the exact same thing => leading to all the more confusion.
It's like you are letting go of you childhood so to say... you are growing up in the truest sense.You are responsible to each other and for each other. It's a pact where you give away some and get some, the only way to make it a good deal is to cooperate and communicate with each other. So here's to hoping  that we can chat away to glory for the rest of our lives.
In the end all I can say is that no one can ever say whether it’s(marriage) good or it’s bad, at best they can say – “I need it and I want it”. We all do.

Dilwalo ka shehar...

Alone we all stand

Dilli.... Yes, I'm in Delhi, the national capital of our country... Finally I'm out of Hyderabad, something I've been wanting for a really long time now...(Been here for 4 months now but couldn't manage to get time to type down my thoughts...)

What can I say about this place? Well... Delhi is all that you think it is and Dilli is also not all that you think it is...First impressions, I came here with my parents and we were taking a bus, this tall, handsome Punjabi sees my mother and instantly gets up from his seat saying, " Aunteejee Aap baith jao...". My mom said, "That's okay... chalega....".  We all have heard of large hearted Punjabi folk, but not all of us have experienced it. Within seconds he stood up and insisted my mom sit there, the smile on his face, the purity of thought. Fully impressed. That is Dilli for me. Clean, big, straight roads... Metros zooming over your head... Hot sun shining over you...

Teething problems were expected. Different food, different language, a different culture, people scaring me all the time "Don't go alone anywhere - "ye Dilli hai"". But I guess I've finally found my niche here. I think I will forget my south indian roots if I stay long here. I've given up on rice, completely stopped eating it and my hindi has become more fluent now, randomly peppered with Punjabi words. Parathas have become staple food now, I eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner basically whenever I'm hungry. Thanks to hostel food Maggi is the next best thing. Since noone in the northern part of India even knows what a filter coffee is, chai... is my new beverage. Sari's and suits are out, it's jeans and capri's and skirts... what more...all my time goes in reading/eating/talking hardly anytime to sleep or think.... Don't remember when I saw the TV last... Economic Times is the newspaper I follow(rather try to follow) now...had enough of the changes? Well it's a lot happening and a lot happening on parallel lanes. Let's go into why I'm here :)

MBA! I think the most coveted degree now in India(probably after IAS). Well it's a rat race all the way, for all those who thought CAT is going to be it. Let me burst your bubble, CAT is just the beginning. You end up in a place where almost everyone has the same IQ as you do and then there is fight.... So a 93.6 percentile is fighting with a 94.1 or a 92.4, who do you think should win? It's each one for his own, we all stand alone, yes, we have groups and we have 'group work' but... you are never a group, once in the class we are all individuals and it all boils down to that. Here I have realised what it means to stand in a crowd and still feel alone or to be alone and still feel like in a crowd. It's strange strange feeling...

Can't boast of much photography or of much travelling around... you guys will have to adjust with a random click from my campus!

That's all that you need...

Communication has become really easy in today's world... we always carry our cell phones with us.. Wi-Fi networks keep us connected to our far far away friends and to the world at large, still I feel somewhere somehow we are missing out... Missing out on communicating, not just communicating , but communicating rightly...If communication has become simple then our lives have become very complex....

What's missing is just a couple of minutes...sometimes, that's all the time you need... to say... "Hello What's up?", "Hi...how are you doing?", "Are you free? I just need to talk to someone", "I miss you", "I love you"... just a few minutes is all you need... But I hear constant cribbing that "It's been ages since I talked to my college friend", "I remembered your birthday, but just didn't have enough time to wish you the same day", "I was just about to call you". How many times have we sent the message "Busy. Wil cal back" and never do? How many times have you seen a missed call from a friend and never cared to respond? I find it really hard to explain this attitude of ours...

There is a strange paradox on our generation, on one hand it is criticized for spending too much time on the phone, at the same time we are also mocked for not maintaining relationships...Isn't communication part of maintaining relationships? It is very strange. We talk , but do we really TALK? Okay I know I'm not making any sense...

Bottom line is "Never lose your friends cause of the distances created". Today's generation doesn't have good enough excuses to lose touch..

PS:- Had to come up with a post for a nice click... Excuse the shoddy work!

Love you hamesha?

Somehow I'm really in the mood of dedications, so this one is for a sweet couple in remote town of Anand, Gujrat whom I'm still to meet.

Love inevitably is associated with the words or phrases like "forever", "eternity" , "till my last breath", but a movie I recently watched (Orange - Telugu movie) really enforced my earlier perception.

I've heard a lot of girls and guys(girls more than guys) crib and nag that their guy/girl doesn't pay them the attention he/she used to... "Ab pehle jaisa nahi raha" or "Woh din hi alag the" is a very common phrase. But I think the whole beauty of love is the way in which it matures to become this really perfect selfless kind of emotion, which no language can really describe.

Stage 1:

When you first start liking a person, there is a flutter in your heart, you have butterflies in your stomach and every meeting and every date does something to you both physically and mentally. There is a tension, there is an anxiety and an innate instinct to impress and be impressed.

Stage 2:

It then moves on to a more bolder form, where you have reasonable belief that the other party is into you that you start seeking ways to express your emotions. More than the thrill of the physical intimacy, I think it's and act of surrender, one of complete and utter trust in the other person, where you are letting the other person into a space which no one has ever shared before(a girl's perspective).

Stage 3:

Then there is more stable state, where you know that you love each other and life together is or rather will be  "perfect".

This is where I think most people start wavering, questions like "Why doesn't he call me as much?" , "What happened to all the compliments I used to get?", "Why don't you spend more time with me?", "Have you taken me for granted?"

Finale:

Somewhere between you moving to a bolder form of love and realising that you need to try to impress him every time you meet him marriage happens.

(Stage2, Stage 3 and Finale are often intermixed - I'm just trying to generalise)

Love for me is when you can't recall the last time you said "I love you" but you know it in your bones how much you love the other person and vice-versa. Love is when you look at her/his eyes from across the hall and know what she/he is trying to tell you. Love is when you get that being busy does not mean that they don't love you anymore. Love is when a 60 year old husband picks a fight with his wife early in the morning just cause she isn't doing things his way, moments later the wife walks up to him to hands over his newspaper and coffee and the husband ends up doing things her way.

People miss the butterflies in their stomach and the anxiety that they had when they first met their partners and keep wishing they could feel it one more time. Personally I'm thankful it doesn't last long, else imagine being in a relationship for 2 years and still wondering if he/she likes you or not, imagine wondering if what you have been doing for 2 years has impressed the other person or not?

What is the point of discussing all this nonsense? Nothing actually, just wanna know.. What is LOVE for you? Leave a comment please.


PS:- I took the photo too. What say?

Marriage - Shaadi - Le Mariage

Marriage seems to be the topic of the day rather year... so here goes...


The one is dedicated to a close friend is embarking this banal yet atypical experience. To Sowmini and Sandeep and of course to a person who inspired the painting. This is my way of wishing them a lifetime of love, trust and caring.


Marriage? What is marriage?


The meaning of marriage has changed as I have grown up, when I was about 7 or 8, marriage was the "ghar ghar" game that I used to play. I would play the mum who cooks all the time and takes care of the kids, some bloke would play the dad who would go to work, be the breadwinner and some other kids(usually younger or shorter than us) would be the children.


Maybe at about 13 or 15 I think I realised that someday, someday I might have to get married and leave this home and start my own life, but never spent too much thought on it as a there was lots of time for it...( I was wrong, time just flew... )


At about 18, marriage seemed like the most fitting ending to any romance, felt like I would fall in love with this handsome prince charming and he would whisk me away to this amazing " la la" land and that's when I will be married...


At about 21, I think reality striked... I realised there is no "la la" land and all the work, responsibilities that I would have to do. Basically I realised how much work my mom does, and it struck me like that I would have to fulfill exactly that role in somebody's home (Trust me there is nothing more scarier that this - A salute to all the moms and wives who keep it all together and make this society function).
So, whenever the topic came up at home, I kept saying - "I'm not ready for it.", "Let's give it some more time", "I'm too young", "I haven't done anything in life" etc etc...


I'm 23 now, just about bordering on 24 and I think now I've come to a level ground, Marriage is not a whirlwind romance, it's definitely not just whole lot of responsibilities and work.
I read this quote somewhere -
"In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy.  The truth is precisely the opposite:  it begins all.  ~Anne Sophie Swetchine"
I think marriage is when you can actually say and meant it that "Your life has just begun".


It seems like a logical extension to your life, you don't want to stay with your parents anymore(reason - want more independence), friends have grown so apart that an occasional mail is only time you get to hear them. I suppose marriage is like a big promotion at work, you get more money(he works you work), you have fringe benefits(you always have one person whom you can go to, to annoy, to love, to crib, to laugh with...), you have perks(Bigger family, more friends, more people who care for you and your well being) but at the same time you have more work(Subeh subeh khana kaun banayega?), more responsibilities(Two sets of parents to take care of) etc etc... You got to get the promotion at one point or the other, or else work will always be the same, it brings in monotony...


The bond itself doesn't cease to amaze me...I've seen couples who have spent so many years of their lives together, 30 years,50 years , oldest couple I personally know is into their 63rd year of marriage. I wonder what it feels like to spend so many years of your life with another person. What do they talk about? Do they talk? When I say talking I don't meant like how you talk to a colleague at work, really talk... Do they?
A friend of mine pointed out that with the invention of mobile phones, today's generation spends way too much time talking to each other even before getting married, the concern here is that if you talk so much over the phone about every damn detail in your life, then will there any conversation be left for the rest 40 years that you are supposed to spend with each other?I found this to be a fair enough argument, but then I realized, have you ever got bored of talking to your Dad? Your Mom? No right, the reason being even though it's the same person, everything around you is always changing... in fact even you and that other person is also constantly evolving... so the conversation you have today bears no consequence of what you might talk about the next/previous day. Life just rolls on... which is what makes marriage the perfect next step in human evolution at an individual level.


Ending a long article by once again wishing them loads of luck for officially "Starting their own life".


PS: - I know I'm not a expert on the subject(esp cause I'm not married) but I felt like sharing my thoughts on the subject.

Hot and Spicy!

Sounds like a page 3 article right? Well this one is going to be like that...

I think there is something fundamentally wrong in the selection capabilities of men. I mean every guy wants a girl who is "hot" (Some would be honest enough to admit the truth, others are talented enough to say they aint that shallow) . Yes they all want girls in Shilpa Shetty shorts and tank tops with open hair and tattoos in sexy places... hmmm... if all of them want them then... what is the problem? Well that's exactly the problem, they all just "want" them... but that girl will never be the one to meet his mom ; reason - "arree yaar! Woh tho bohot fast hai" (Translated - Hey! You want me to take a slut to meet my mom?). I mean come on guys! To take home... for that they need different type of girls, they want girls in salwars, who are soft spoken and demure, who have their hair tied up neatly... I mean what is the problem here...

See, all of you guys want a girl who is okay with your beer drinking, but if she herself can down a peg or two, then it ain't acceptable.. She should be modern and open minded but god forbid she wears a skirt in front of your parents. I mean isn't this hypocrisy at its best... ?

To make it concise they all want someone like the heroine in Ye Maya Chesave(Telugu movie, Vinayathandi Varuvaya - Tamil version), someone who is hot as well as hmmm what's the word  - traditional. I sympathize with guys for having to go through this tough tough picking process, girls on the other hand spend time on the frivolous process of finding a good guy(The truth here is they can make any guy look good, ask Hitler's wife, what a hero he was..), rather I would say a guy who is into them...

Okay but here is a twister for all the boys... What if you find the "homely girl" , the type you can take home... but on talking to her, you realise you are her fifth guy this year, she can down more vodkas than you and she wants to finally settle down with you - Is that okay? (Imagine the scene in Namastey London when Katrina Kaif gives Ritesh Mukherjee the shock of his life). Now isn't the hot girl better here - atleast she is showing what she is? Doesn't honesty count? Boys... think about what you want?

This article is dedicated to everyone around me cause matchmaking seems to be the only plausible topic for everyone...

PS:- I know all guys don't think alike, generalization has been made to make the post readable, for once I did not want to be diplomatic. So all the offended guys - Bring it on! And females, now you the know the little secret that every man harbours in his head... use it as you see fit... Enjoy!

Educating?

Of late I have been wondering(Ya ya... I know some of you think how jobless can she be to have time to wonder... but, that's me) , what is EDUCATION really? Once the child hits the age of 3, we push them off to the most popular play school which is then followed by a even more popular school... I'm 23 now and I keep thinking what is it that I have learned really? What have we learnt in school, in college and what part of that do we really use in our daily lives? There is so much concentration these days on how many marks, what grades, which career path a child chooses but I wonder what is the ultimate purpose of it all? Fine, let's make a assumption, let's take a child, aces in all his classes, tops his tenth boards, heads for IIT's and then makes it to the cream (IIM-A is my guess), lands himself in a job with a 6/7 digit monthly salary, fine...all's well and good... but what next? I mean what is the purpose of it all ? A job with a huge salary? Financial security? Ensuring social status? Is that all that we want for our children? I mean, have we become so materialistic that for 22-25 years all we let the child think about is the so called "education" so that he can have a rich villa house,drive a merc and shop in malls in the weekends?
Don't get me wrong, it's all very nice, I mean ya having a job with shit loads of money is awesome, but really is having a 4/5 digit salary so bad? Is travelling in second class so horrible? Is it really that unimaginable to eat at home everyday? Does taking the bus/ or going by walk to office really hamper your social status?
If you answered 'No' to any of the above then read on... okay, you are a genius, very smart and very intelligent, but is that really a requirement to live a peaceful life? I'm not saying intelligence is bad, it's good, in fact very good, but I'm just trying to say that isn't it just another asset in life. I mean, it's good if you it, but it aint the end of the world if you haven't got it. Isn't the purpose of life to be happy, to love, to share and care for another... and live a life of satisfaction and contentment.
More than marks, more than grades, more than salaries I think we should be teaching/educating them(I'm not sure how many of us have this skill) on how to live life, how to actually go through life with the proper attitude, go through life in peace.

As always readers, please comment.

PS: I know I talked a lot about children in this one, it's not like I'm going to have kids anytime soon.. :P but its because now it's too late to change how we were bought up. The damage is done in our case, so here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Unconditional Anything

Is it really possible to do anything "Unconditionally"? Is it possible to do things without expecting anything from anyone? Is it fair? Is it healthy? Does it happen? (Let me guess what you guys are thinking - oh god!! She's back to her questioning self - but just bear with me - I'm good at this). Of late, I've been really busy with work and I have had really no time to "think"(In spite of having no time to think I come up with this? Ya - that's me), but still this question has been bothering me. Is it possible to work like crazy and not expect the least amount of recognition for your work? What if you have to put up with a job that sucks, that doesn't have a ounce of job satisfaction, a team that sucks even more, a boss who doesn't give a shit about you and still work day in and day out and not feel a thing? Is it possible to say "I love you" everyday without ever being reciprocated? You think you are with a person who doesn't care much for you, but your life revolves around this person, you wake up - he's the first thing on your mind(I'm a she, so it's gotta be a he - I'm not sexist), you go to sleep at night and he is the last thought on your mind, why does it matter if he thinks of you the same way?

We all have relationships in our lives, some that we have names for, some that we don't have names for, some that we take for granted, some that we get paid for, some we pay for some random acquaintances and some just people. I think we are all very greedy people we always need to be told and acknowledged... Deep down we are not sure what we are exactly, and we like to be told, how great we are or how stupid we are. So the assumption is that NO - there can't be anything that is unconditional - but what if there can? Have you ever tried doing that? Being all self satisfied and just doing what you want to do independent of everything and everyone. Can we do it? Let me know if you have any answers...
(I know heavy duty - but it's nice to think once in a while... :)..)

Another year is coming to close(In fact, it already will have by the time I post this one). All day(31st Dec) I kept asking people, "How was this year for you?" and it was nice to see the kind of responses I got. The diplomats that they are, some said - it was just OK, some got all philosophical as to how they can't say and that it all depending on their mood, some said it was an amazing year, for others it was the worst year of their life as they had lost a loved one. A mixed bag of answers really, as for me, well its been an absolutely amazing year - SIMPLY FABULOUS!! ( I know you are looking for a but here, but there isn't a but). I've got to meet some really amazing people and really got a chance to look at things in a different perspective. So this year(2009) is FAB, a gut feeling says that 2010 is going to be big, big for everyone(My gut isn't always right, but its a nice feeling when it's positive)
If you remember my last years post at about new year time, apart from the fact that it was crappy, it was also very negative. Things have changed a lot since then, and its a nice feeling to know I have a changed view of things. A good friend of mine told me that this(New Year Celebrations) was one occasion that the entire world celebrated without any caste,creed or color barriers and now after exactly one whole year, I think I understand what my friend meant(Yes, I am thick headed sometimes).
So here's wishing all my readers(if any) a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May all of you work hard and party harder!!

Continuing my signature style... I'm leaving you with a question.
How has 2009 been for you?

It's called the "Match Fixing" syndrome

Have you ever heard of it? Don't be surprised if you haven't, cause I just coined a new word(Mental note: Need to inform the Oxford guys), well it's actually an apt name for what is happening all around me. Well to not talk in riddles anymore I'm referring to arranged marriage here. Don't go... ooh!! You mean that, it's no less that any match fixing scandal..
I have no clue what happens to parents once their daughters reach a "certain age" - oh! The coveted certain age. They become all mushy mushy about you, and start treating you like, how long is this going to last anyway.. OK, if I stop being cynical, they give all that you ask for, do what you like and basically treat you like a spoiled brat(Of course all this is totally to our advantage - Guys miss out on this).This being the good part, there is much deeper, darker side to it. The dark side is they ask you these questions, questions which previously never ever occurred to you, let's have a look at some of them
- Would you like to marry a NRI? (Is that a qualification, really?)
- How older should he be than you? (Does older mean more mature or more stupid?)
- How tall should he be? (Shouldn't be shorter than me..)
- Is it OK if he has a big family? ( Like I'll gun down the family, if I happen to like the guy)

I mean, come on guys... But mind you, I know people who have very very very specific answers for all these questions, like I want a guy who is exactly 6 feet, and is working in a big bank in UK(used to be USA, not so long ago). He should be exactly 4 years older than me and can have a big family, provided it's not a joint family and he should have only sisters, not brothers. Phew!! now that's what you call is explain in detail!!

Then comes the even more arduous task of photos and resumes and shortlisting the candidates - Unfortunately, I think Indian parents are the only ones still left with this task. To be fair to them, what else do you expect from them - they need to get rid of you one way or the other. We as Indians, know the procedure and know the system and know from a very very young age that this is how it works, but somehow I can't get my head around, why things got to be so so complex.
An analogy similar to Chetan bhagat's theory on love marriage in India, arranged marriage is not so different.
Boy likes girl's photo, girl likes boy's photo,
Girl's family likes boy's family, boy's family like girl's family,
Boy girls horoscopes should match - they are perfect for each other astrologically(If only it was so simple to find Mr.Right, all girls would have mastered astrology by now)
Boy sees girl, girl sees boy (implied their families do the same thing)
Boy talks to girl, girl smiles sheepishly ( of course, this is point of no return, but its still a formality which makes parents believe, they have given us a choice)
Finally they decide to get married... Now, that's what you call is systematic procedure(Wonder, why marriages go bad even after all this!!)

Now you must be thinking that finally it's done right - WRONG!! The biggest task actually starts now, Marriage is a really complex procedure in India, from the photographer to the place where you will get married, from what the guy will wear on the reception night to what the bride's younger sister(actually cousin - and prospective bride to be) will wear at the marriage, from what the guy's family got to give the girl to what the girl's family got to give the guy, who gets invited, who doesn't, who gets what kind of return gifts, what return gifts to give, the wedding cards..the list goes on...it's all one big, really complex procedure which is way too difficult from me to explain!
The again, why can't things be simple, is a simple traditional marriage in a temple with just close relatives, not marriage enough? For atheists, is register marriage such a bad idea?

After all the hullabaloo, the pair is finally left to flourish/decimate themselves... Simple right? Now this is a match fixed to perfection...

PS:- This post is meant to be taken in the lighter vein, I obviously appreciate what our parents do for us, respect the institution of marriage and mean no disrespect to this system.

It's that time of the year again...

It's that time of the year again, when there are celebrations all around you and people are just looking for a reason, to shop, to party and basically to just have some fun. It's also that time of the year when you start reminiscing about the year that went by, and also a time to feel nostalgic - what were you doing exactly 1 year ago on this very day... Have you changed as a person? Have you changed or has the world around you changed? I know these questions are pointless and don't really have any significance whatsoever to life as it exists right now. But as an innate quality(nagging habit) that I have, I can't but wonder(and make you wonder too)....

Anyway, let's move on to other things.. I had vowed when i joined work that i would not be one of those people who spent 12 -14 hrs in office, whose lives are nothing but their work and life outside of work is non existent. Since I am a workaholic, this was of special importance to me, but unfortunately I seemed to have failed on my own terms, I'm slogging like a dog... and it's not even life altering/extremely fascinating kind of work...But then it's work and it's feeding me, so can't bitch about it...

Okay, next topic... Driven by madness of working 12 hours a day and 7 days a week, I was lead to a really irrational decision of watching - Wake up Sid! Other than the chocolately and the boy next door looks of Ranbir(or the one sitting beside you) - nothing much in the movie...

Well, here goes, all of you who read my blog know it's rare for me to be so disoriented and so un-streamlined, its the work, I'm telling you, it's really the work. Getting back into my element - I have had this nagging question in my head for quiet a while, so I'm just going to put out.(Of course as always, there will be a build up to the question... so just read on..)
I'm not sure how many of you felt this way, but i'll describe it to you, let's say you've had a really horrible day and the only thing you want to do is to lie in your mother's lap while she strokes your hair and tells you that it's alright - these things happen or when you meet your long lost friend after a really long time, you feel the need to shake their hand, or even hug them... or sometimes when you see someone very vulnerable and fragile, you want to just hold their hand and give them the strength and comfort that they need... Or how you always end up hi fiing or shaking hands when you have achieved something commendable, or how you just want to be in the arms of the one you love... (Okay you get the picture I think)
So my question is why do we need this reassurance in the form of touch. It's really not related to lust, but it's a desire none the less... Any justification as to why the touch/presence of people is so important?

Let me know.

PS:- I know its a bad post - Don't hate me for it. (Will do better next time)

Of course HAPPY DIWALI to all!! Have a safe and prosperous diwali!!

Long lasting vs Short and sweet

It’s another everlasting question, but I think like most questions it has something to teach us. Well here goes, SHORT and SWEET or LONG LASTING. On the face of it, short and sweet wins hands down; I mean who in the world can you give you a guarantee? Who can tell you/ assure you that tomorrow things will be the same., so the safest bet would be to say, enjoy the time you’ve got, enjoy this moment… this very second, cause that’s all that one has. But then if it's hands down short and sweet then why is it that we plan for things long lasting… meaning things with durability. Lifelong companion, friends who stand by you, parents who you can let go off, the dream house you want to spend your old age in… why do these things come into picture? Why can’t it be just short and sweet? Why do we have to worry about how long something will last? I mean if the whole crux of life is that “Change is permanent” and that what we have now, might not be there tomorrow, then why do we ever have to think about long lasting things?

Practically speaking it’s pretty simple, we don’t know if it’ll last or not, so no point spending your time on it… might as well be more resourceful. But it’s still a nagging question as to why we want some things to be permanent yet agree that short and sweet is cooler? More practical? More sensible?

Personally I was a hard core long lasting type, I believed that every step needs to be planned and done and that it will all culminate to something big/great/nice things in life. You might have noticed that the previous sentence is in past tense, does that mean that I’ve changed sides now? Well not really(I’ve just starting looking at things in a different light), some things need to be short and sweet, like the pani puri that you eat at your street side guy and it’s so chilly and hot that it burns your tongue, like the ice cream candy you have on a hot summer afternoon, your mom’s meal after months of eating restaurant food, a cool breeze of wind when you are completely drenched in sweat, these things just last a moment, not more than that, they lose their value the moment the moment passes by. You forget your burning tongue as soon as you start walking back home, you forget how tasty your mom’s food is the moment you look at a pizza hut/subway, but then it’s supposed to be that way… I mean you can’t go craving about your mom’s food while all your friends dig into a cheesy pizza. This is how life works, some moments need to short to have that effect on you, and the duration they last creates that effect. But then what about long lasting, what needs to be long lasting? Well the guy beside you? I think I’m supposed to say the person with whom you intend to spend your life? Sounds cheeky, I know but even speaking from a practical point of view, if you kept changing the guy beside you let’s say every month, each month you’d be reiterating your life to this guy, and it’ll be like going over the same things over and over and over again, I mean there would be no progression , you would virtually live the same phase of your life , for your entire life!! Just imagine a 60 yr old you, asking a 63-64 old man, “What’s your favorite color? Mine’s pink… but you let me know what you like and I’ll wear that when we meet next”. I mean it sounds ridiculous, if not preposterous … I think mostly what become long lasting in life are the bonds that you have, your relationships, the bonds that you form in your life… these are usually long lasting… but more than that what last is who you are… who you are as a person. There are something that make up what you are fundamentally… like Gandhi = non violence, like Mother Theresa = benevolent. I wish I could put in my analogy, but I think it takes a life time to figure out this one… so it long lasting + short and sweet for now. Like most things in life, it’s a balance…

Something we can all do it that, be generous with your life and the people in it. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, when you do something wrong, don’t kill yourself, allow yourself to make mistakes – after all it’s Human to Err and when you do something nice, pat yourself on your back, treat yourself, take that break you deserve, after all you really don’t know how many good things you will do in this lifetime, so might as well enjoy the ones that you do do… and when it comes to the people around you, when you feel something just say it. Say I like the way your hair looks today, say nice job guys, you really saved my life! Say what they deserve to hear because that moment that you felt it, might never return, they might never ever do that thing again, to get that complement from you. So give it to them when they deserve it. It’s actually something they deserve to hear and you will be in effect depriving them of that… Just SAY IT!! (It won’t hurt – I promise) (Disclaimer – this promise is supposed to be short and sweet). Sometimes these short and sweet things can lead to a really long lasting things. Who knows what the future holds. You might miss out on the greater things in life, if you ignore these things…

(The part of the blog is dedicated to a friend of mine, who showed me things in a different light).

Maybe mine was the skewed perception, or just my perception (Don’t they mean the same?) Anyway, the new feeling is that both long lasting and short and sweet are a state of mind… long lasting is just wanting the short and sweet moment again and again, and then at one moment you might decide that this is too boring, and name it either long lasting or short and sweet, because that again depends on the relativity of time… what might have seemed like long lasting to you could have just been a moment for me.. So generalizing this is quite out of scope… In a way , never hope for long lasting, if you keep wanting the short and sweet for a long long time… then you have got yourself a long lasting thing… else it was meant to be just short and sweet…(Makes life simpler to live – without much thought)

PS : - Inspired from the telugu movie Oye. I know, me and telugu… but yes – life changes!!

-Irrespective of all of the nonsense I just wrote, we all know what we belong to.

So let me know what type are you?

-short and sweet

-long lasting

-A mix of both (Don't be diplomatic and pick this option! Be truthful for once!!)

-I don't have the slightest clue - Why in the world do you ask such question?!? (Escapists - please make an attempt)

-

Picture Perfect

I know, I know it's been a really long time and 6 months is just not acceptable... I accept - I'm guilty of this crime, but I hope I will be pardoned after this post has been read.

Disclaimer:
All the lines, words and situations described in the below text are purely fictional. They bear no resemblance to any person living or dead. It’s written only for the purpose of entertainment and is to be taken in that spirit. Enjoy!


She is lying on her bed, cuddled in his arms… She can hear the rain droplets falling on the roof… The sound can be so soothing… It’s really cold today… she moves closer to him, his warm breath falls on her cheek and makes her blush like a newlywed bride. She looks outside the window; she sees green trees among clouds and fog. It’s very misty outside but she can still see (maybe because she has seen the same scenery many times), far off in the horizon, she can see the sun rise slowly… piercing through the clouds, illuminating her entire world. She decides to wake him up, cranes her neck and looks up at him… He looks peaceful, calm, blissfully sleeping without a care for the world. She couldn’t wake him up, it was too hard for her… the sight she was watching was too wonderful for her to disturb. The sun rays pierce through the window, into her room… He’s awake now… He looks at her, her eyes are closed but he’s not sure if she’s awake or asleep… she’s laying in his arms… his angel... How he thought this was never possible. But it happened and it was true. She was his own now.She was here with him, for now and forever… he can’t resist it any longer… he moves closer, gives her a soft kiss on her lips and whispers “Good morning , I love you sweetie” in her ears. She smiles… Oh my god her smile!! Wasn’t it the smile that had started it all? She doesn’t even open her eyes and returns his whispers with hers – “I love you too”. It was not a phrase they used very often in their relationship… It was given; it was an unsaid premise… They used the phrase judiciously… Somehow neither felt the need to say it again and again… It was picture perfect. Neither was willing to move, neither wanting to say anything… the silence, the falling of raindrops, the chill of the winter… It was a dream, which had come true. Suddenly there was a loud thud… a banging noise Bang! Bang! Bang! She opened her eyes, it was not cold anymore, she rushed to the door – there was no one at the door, she turned back to look at him. He wasn’t there, she came closer, moved the blanket around, where had he gone? He was right here… She moved the pillows, removed the sheets, looked under the bed, as though he had hid himself from her… But no, he wasn’t there, maybe he never was, she couldn’t make it out. Was it a dream? How could a dream be so real? It couldn’t be a dream, his breath on her cheeks, the warmth, the happiness she felt, the joy, all of it was real, then how could it be a dream. Something had happened, but she couldn’t make it out. Reality called upon her, she looked at the watch, it was time to go to office. Hastily she spread the sheets back on her bed, set the pillows right and rushed into the bathroom. The only question that lingered in her head was - Was it really a dream? How could it be a dream? Where did he go? Will he come back again? Will she ever feel the way she felt when in his arms?

NOTE:

The idea of this post that I wanted to see if everyone could associate with the scene that I had set up. Could all of you relate to that kind of happiness? When you read it, were you transported to that location, did all of you imagine yourself in that bed? Let me know. Leave a comment.

HAPPYness?

Isn't it what everyone is after… the ultimate goal of every human soul is to be happy… the ways and means of achieving the same depend on the individual though. The rationale behind all of human activities simply points to one direction -> " I want to be happy" . Now let's come to a fundamental question… what exactly is happiness… Considering the amount of free time I have had lately… I can confirm for sure that there are a lot of definitions… definitions based on the genre your are relating happiness to… What makes us happy is sometimes a mystery even to ourselves… we seen in our daily life that what we perceive will give us happiness, once achieved does not deliver… You start feeling maybe this was not it… and you go hunting again… somehow the cycle never seems to end… a plausible theory could be that maybe we find happiness in the hunting part than actually getting there… but I somehow feel that a very cynical way of looking at it… even so what gives us happiness is totally a personal choice, some feel that if everyone around them is happy, then they are happy… but then there are people who derive happiness from others misery – sadists…

I think the million dollar question is… "is there something called true and absolute happiness?" Is there something that can deliver the same amount of joy to everyone that comes in contact with it…? Sounds utopian right??

At this point most would point to GOD… all spiritual leaders(irrespective of religion) will tell you… that seeking god consciousness, being connected to god will make you a very happy person... you have to strive for it… work hard in that direction, you will see the effect eventually… there is just no instant gratification… But then what is wrong with instant gratification? As mentioned in the first paragraph… instant gratification only satisfies instantly... We want something everlasting, not ephemeral… So now we know why we are looking for absolute happiness.But there is something that is still not clear. Consider this, You are successful… you feel happy… so you always try to be successful… it's a straight – forward co-relation. When you are not successful, you associate it with sadness… and you strive for success i.e. happiness again… My point here would be that there is a reason; hence there is a relation (you relate success with happiness) which forms the reason and results in a action… It's not rocket science… You like to be with the people who love you… it makes you happy… Relation – love with happiness, hence you want to be with people who love you… If God is the key to all the joy in the world… then my question would be, how are you supposed to relate to it?? What is the co-relation, because the co-relation forms the reason and reason results in action… so it all boils down to how you associate yourself with that joy. Its like this, if you don't know how a chocolate tastes… then there is no desire to want it… but when you know,then you want it. With the amount of reading that I have done in this area… there is a reason, its just very subtle, very simple yet it doesn't ring a bell in everyone's head. The reason is you get tired… you simply get tired of the whole deal… the being happy, then being sad again… the whole happy-sad-happy-sad game tires you out… so you are to strive for the ultimate, which ends this happy-sad cycle… It sounds perfectly fine theoretically… but in the real thing is a whole different ball game.

All of this is my analysis of HAPPYness, tell me what makes you happy?? What is your answer to something that would give equal joy to all…? I'm sure these questions will make you think long and hard…and I'm hoping atleast some replies...

Change triggers Change

“Change is the only permanent thing in life”. We have all said or heard this at least once in our lifetimes. Nothing ever remains the same, each day our lives change, we become wiser or more ignorant, objects become old, memories fade away, wounded hearts are healed, the weather changes, even the sun and the moon come up at different times. It’s all changing all the time.

Change is all prevalent, then why is it one of the hardest things to deal with? We always talk of addiction in severe medical terms, but I feel we are all addicted in more than one ways, we just don’t realize it. Some are addicted to money, some to power, some to lust, some to fame and most to love. Addiction by definition is a condition where we are not able to stop ourselves from wanting something, it becomes beyond our control, almost an involuntary action – a habit. And it is this addiction that makes change so hard… I feel the hardest part of kicking a habit, is to realize that you need to kick it…after all we did get addicted for a reason. Yet I’ve often seen that this realization happens only when you hit ROCK BOTTOM.

Change often triggers change… When you eventually kick the habit and become transformed, if you introspect carefully you will realize that something in you is not the same, the habit is gone and so is the person who was interested in it… So that habit has triggered a change in you… and the change in you will trigger changes in the people around you and hence the cycle goes on… making it unstoppable and undeniable.

But maybe change is not all that bad a phenomenon, it makes us evolve, makes us learn our mistakes, makes us explore new avenues and sometimes just makes us move on to newer and maybe better addictions…. That’s life… It changes.

a HAPPY new year?

I spent my new year’s eve at home, and just as the clock struck 12, I heard fire crackers and went to my balcony to see them, as I watched the brilliant display of light by the fireworks I saw some guys…shouting their lungs out… riding their bikes on the empty streets wishing everyone a ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR’. This got me thinking, what’s so happy about just another day? Somehow I've never been able to associate myself with the concept of 'New year Celebrations’. I've never got it really… People party, freak out like there is no tomorrow, spend a whole lot of cash, dance all night and really freak out. Frankly speaking I don't understand what the whole deal is about, isn't it just another day? Like the start of a new month, or the start of a new day, the only difference I really see is in writing the date (which by the way we have stopped doing, since the computer does it automatically). My intention is not to sound cynical, but isn't it obvious that nothing will change, it’s just another day. It’s almost as if, they want a cover, a means to hide all that happened the past year, a celebration to make you forget, to give yourself a new start… But there is a whole different prospective to look at the same issue… a simple question… WHY NOT? And frankly I have no answer... the generation today is so wrapped up in living life mechanically and doing their jobs the right or the wrong way, that any reason to get away from the regular is more than welcome.. Its just man's inherent nature, to hope, to expect in the most impossible of situations, to live and to enjoy... So what if nothing will change? At least we can expect that things can get better... Everybody deserves a second chance, so what if it didn’t work out the last year, have a go at it this year… I figured that each person has their own way of looking at things... For some dancing the whole night does the trick, for some a quite family reunion, for some a night spent in solitude with their thoughts… it is just their means of expression… It is jus their style… In the end, I guess everybody should introspect, realize the wrongs from the rights and I guess usher in the new year with a hope to…(if not anything) BE HAPPY..


PS :- Sorry for the big break.. Didn’t realize I had fans… And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

The Inevitable

From the time this semester has started, I’ve noticed an increasing sense of urgency all around me. It was as if everyone (including me) had woken up from a deep slumber. GRE’s, CAT’s, CAMPUS CONNECT, Paper presentations that’s all I hear these days… I guess all of us are just beginning to realize that we are nearing the end of one protected road and moving on to a platform called the ‘ BIG BAD WORLD ‘ . Putting it more plainly all of us are just worried about our future and we want to be sure that we have picked the right path and are doing everything right. As if this wasn’t daunting enough a task this sense of urgency brings along a whole sack of questions, to which no one but TIME has the answer. Will I make it? What if I don’t? Where will I go from here? How is life going to be? We know we aren’t getting any answers any time soon but that doesn’t stop us from asking the questions.

As this semester comes to an end, an inevitable realization is hitting me (hitting me real hard!!). That within a matter of 1 year i.e. 52 weeks all our lives will change beyond recognition. Some will leave the country, some the state, some will move back to their home towns. People will move on to better and higher venues, all busy trying to carve a niche for themselves in this highly competitive world. What really bothers me is that I’ll be missing my FRIENDS. YA, we’ll be in touch with them and all but it won’t be the same thing. Going out for pani puri, bunking college to see the latest bollywood flick, raiding our closets to pick out a certain ‘look’ for a certain ‘thing’, those long talk and walks that just got you that much closer, I’m going to miss all of that. In the end I guess, Time is your only true friend, it moves with you, sometimes it makes you run at others you got to really drag it out, but that’s how it always is. I just hope all of us go on to do what we really want and I wish the best for each one of us. (Maybe this realization hit me a bit soon, but its good I guess coz it made me realize(hopefully you too) I just got one year and I got to make the full of it… So LIVE IT UP!!… this time ain’t coming back.. NEVER!!!

The '2'

Ever wondered about the two way dichotomy…?? Well let me explain what I’m talking about... you know how you’re always struck between two options… it’s either this way or that... From multiple choice question exams that you write, to the decisions that you make in your life… it’s always 2 things that we are left with… Odd number this ‘2’… together called a pair… it often means 2 very very opposite things,some examples are right-left, up-down, yes-no, forward-backward, true-false, head-heart…. It’s quite often we find ourselves brooding over these options…and eventually (after a lot of brain churning and consultation from friends and family) we do come up with the an answer… right or wrong... we do come up. If things workout and its all well and fine.. you never go back and think about the option you left behind,but if at all things don’t go your way,you’re always left with that other option which could have been your solution and which could have changed the way your life is. I wonder , why is it that we are always left with 2 options…?? Why not 3?? Or 4?? No matter how many choices we have... we most definitely narrow it down to 2… But then again if we did have more options I guess we would be all the more confused and become paranoid, I guess. But on a more serious note, I guess these are the very choices that are the difference between the rich and the poor, the successful and the failure, love and hatred…

I guess the more important question remains… How do we know which is the way to pick?? Which is the way that’s right for us?? Who tells us this…?? Some say... it’s what we popularly call “the gut feeling”... Some even say it’s out karma that guides us into our way… But is there really a way to find out which option is going to take us where?? At this point some would point out at the mysterious art of astrology and the art of finding out one’s future… To all those who believe in it I’ve got a twister for you... If you knew you were going to do some thing wrong would you do that thing because you are bound by karma or further still could you prevent yourself from doing it… even though you know that’s what you would do in future..?? Too Complex??

Let’s leave this by saying that all we have in our hands really is to pick a choice and hope that everything works out for the best of all… like the famous saying “Everything happens for our own good”