It's called the "Match Fixing" syndrome

Have you ever heard of it? Don't be surprised if you haven't, cause I just coined a new word(Mental note: Need to inform the Oxford guys), well it's actually an apt name for what is happening all around me. Well to not talk in riddles anymore I'm referring to arranged marriage here. Don't go... ooh!! You mean that, it's no less that any match fixing scandal..
I have no clue what happens to parents once their daughters reach a "certain age" - oh! The coveted certain age. They become all mushy mushy about you, and start treating you like, how long is this going to last anyway.. OK, if I stop being cynical, they give all that you ask for, do what you like and basically treat you like a spoiled brat(Of course all this is totally to our advantage - Guys miss out on this).This being the good part, there is much deeper, darker side to it. The dark side is they ask you these questions, questions which previously never ever occurred to you, let's have a look at some of them
- Would you like to marry a NRI? (Is that a qualification, really?)
- How older should he be than you? (Does older mean more mature or more stupid?)
- How tall should he be? (Shouldn't be shorter than me..)
- Is it OK if he has a big family? ( Like I'll gun down the family, if I happen to like the guy)

I mean, come on guys... But mind you, I know people who have very very very specific answers for all these questions, like I want a guy who is exactly 6 feet, and is working in a big bank in UK(used to be USA, not so long ago). He should be exactly 4 years older than me and can have a big family, provided it's not a joint family and he should have only sisters, not brothers. Phew!! now that's what you call is explain in detail!!

Then comes the even more arduous task of photos and resumes and shortlisting the candidates - Unfortunately, I think Indian parents are the only ones still left with this task. To be fair to them, what else do you expect from them - they need to get rid of you one way or the other. We as Indians, know the procedure and know the system and know from a very very young age that this is how it works, but somehow I can't get my head around, why things got to be so so complex.
An analogy similar to Chetan bhagat's theory on love marriage in India, arranged marriage is not so different.
Boy likes girl's photo, girl likes boy's photo,
Girl's family likes boy's family, boy's family like girl's family,
Boy girls horoscopes should match - they are perfect for each other astrologically(If only it was so simple to find Mr.Right, all girls would have mastered astrology by now)
Boy sees girl, girl sees boy (implied their families do the same thing)
Boy talks to girl, girl smiles sheepishly ( of course, this is point of no return, but its still a formality which makes parents believe, they have given us a choice)
Finally they decide to get married... Now, that's what you call is systematic procedure(Wonder, why marriages go bad even after all this!!)

Now you must be thinking that finally it's done right - WRONG!! The biggest task actually starts now, Marriage is a really complex procedure in India, from the photographer to the place where you will get married, from what the guy will wear on the reception night to what the bride's younger sister(actually cousin - and prospective bride to be) will wear at the marriage, from what the guy's family got to give the girl to what the girl's family got to give the guy, who gets invited, who doesn't, who gets what kind of return gifts, what return gifts to give, the wedding cards..the list goes on...it's all one big, really complex procedure which is way too difficult from me to explain!
The again, why can't things be simple, is a simple traditional marriage in a temple with just close relatives, not marriage enough? For atheists, is register marriage such a bad idea?

After all the hullabaloo, the pair is finally left to flourish/decimate themselves... Simple right? Now this is a match fixed to perfection...

PS:- This post is meant to be taken in the lighter vein, I obviously appreciate what our parents do for us, respect the institution of marriage and mean no disrespect to this system.

It's that time of the year again...

It's that time of the year again, when there are celebrations all around you and people are just looking for a reason, to shop, to party and basically to just have some fun. It's also that time of the year when you start reminiscing about the year that went by, and also a time to feel nostalgic - what were you doing exactly 1 year ago on this very day... Have you changed as a person? Have you changed or has the world around you changed? I know these questions are pointless and don't really have any significance whatsoever to life as it exists right now. But as an innate quality(nagging habit) that I have, I can't but wonder(and make you wonder too)....

Anyway, let's move on to other things.. I had vowed when i joined work that i would not be one of those people who spent 12 -14 hrs in office, whose lives are nothing but their work and life outside of work is non existent. Since I am a workaholic, this was of special importance to me, but unfortunately I seemed to have failed on my own terms, I'm slogging like a dog... and it's not even life altering/extremely fascinating kind of work...But then it's work and it's feeding me, so can't bitch about it...

Okay, next topic... Driven by madness of working 12 hours a day and 7 days a week, I was lead to a really irrational decision of watching - Wake up Sid! Other than the chocolately and the boy next door looks of Ranbir(or the one sitting beside you) - nothing much in the movie...

Well, here goes, all of you who read my blog know it's rare for me to be so disoriented and so un-streamlined, its the work, I'm telling you, it's really the work. Getting back into my element - I have had this nagging question in my head for quiet a while, so I'm just going to put out.(Of course as always, there will be a build up to the question... so just read on..)
I'm not sure how many of you felt this way, but i'll describe it to you, let's say you've had a really horrible day and the only thing you want to do is to lie in your mother's lap while she strokes your hair and tells you that it's alright - these things happen or when you meet your long lost friend after a really long time, you feel the need to shake their hand, or even hug them... or sometimes when you see someone very vulnerable and fragile, you want to just hold their hand and give them the strength and comfort that they need... Or how you always end up hi fiing or shaking hands when you have achieved something commendable, or how you just want to be in the arms of the one you love... (Okay you get the picture I think)
So my question is why do we need this reassurance in the form of touch. It's really not related to lust, but it's a desire none the less... Any justification as to why the touch/presence of people is so important?

Let me know.

PS:- I know its a bad post - Don't hate me for it. (Will do better next time)

Of course HAPPY DIWALI to all!! Have a safe and prosperous diwali!!

Long lasting vs Short and sweet

It’s another everlasting question, but I think like most questions it has something to teach us. Well here goes, SHORT and SWEET or LONG LASTING. On the face of it, short and sweet wins hands down; I mean who in the world can you give you a guarantee? Who can tell you/ assure you that tomorrow things will be the same., so the safest bet would be to say, enjoy the time you’ve got, enjoy this moment… this very second, cause that’s all that one has. But then if it's hands down short and sweet then why is it that we plan for things long lasting… meaning things with durability. Lifelong companion, friends who stand by you, parents who you can let go off, the dream house you want to spend your old age in… why do these things come into picture? Why can’t it be just short and sweet? Why do we have to worry about how long something will last? I mean if the whole crux of life is that “Change is permanent” and that what we have now, might not be there tomorrow, then why do we ever have to think about long lasting things?

Practically speaking it’s pretty simple, we don’t know if it’ll last or not, so no point spending your time on it… might as well be more resourceful. But it’s still a nagging question as to why we want some things to be permanent yet agree that short and sweet is cooler? More practical? More sensible?

Personally I was a hard core long lasting type, I believed that every step needs to be planned and done and that it will all culminate to something big/great/nice things in life. You might have noticed that the previous sentence is in past tense, does that mean that I’ve changed sides now? Well not really(I’ve just starting looking at things in a different light), some things need to be short and sweet, like the pani puri that you eat at your street side guy and it’s so chilly and hot that it burns your tongue, like the ice cream candy you have on a hot summer afternoon, your mom’s meal after months of eating restaurant food, a cool breeze of wind when you are completely drenched in sweat, these things just last a moment, not more than that, they lose their value the moment the moment passes by. You forget your burning tongue as soon as you start walking back home, you forget how tasty your mom’s food is the moment you look at a pizza hut/subway, but then it’s supposed to be that way… I mean you can’t go craving about your mom’s food while all your friends dig into a cheesy pizza. This is how life works, some moments need to short to have that effect on you, and the duration they last creates that effect. But then what about long lasting, what needs to be long lasting? Well the guy beside you? I think I’m supposed to say the person with whom you intend to spend your life? Sounds cheeky, I know but even speaking from a practical point of view, if you kept changing the guy beside you let’s say every month, each month you’d be reiterating your life to this guy, and it’ll be like going over the same things over and over and over again, I mean there would be no progression , you would virtually live the same phase of your life , for your entire life!! Just imagine a 60 yr old you, asking a 63-64 old man, “What’s your favorite color? Mine’s pink… but you let me know what you like and I’ll wear that when we meet next”. I mean it sounds ridiculous, if not preposterous … I think mostly what become long lasting in life are the bonds that you have, your relationships, the bonds that you form in your life… these are usually long lasting… but more than that what last is who you are… who you are as a person. There are something that make up what you are fundamentally… like Gandhi = non violence, like Mother Theresa = benevolent. I wish I could put in my analogy, but I think it takes a life time to figure out this one… so it long lasting + short and sweet for now. Like most things in life, it’s a balance…

Something we can all do it that, be generous with your life and the people in it. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, when you do something wrong, don’t kill yourself, allow yourself to make mistakes – after all it’s Human to Err and when you do something nice, pat yourself on your back, treat yourself, take that break you deserve, after all you really don’t know how many good things you will do in this lifetime, so might as well enjoy the ones that you do do… and when it comes to the people around you, when you feel something just say it. Say I like the way your hair looks today, say nice job guys, you really saved my life! Say what they deserve to hear because that moment that you felt it, might never return, they might never ever do that thing again, to get that complement from you. So give it to them when they deserve it. It’s actually something they deserve to hear and you will be in effect depriving them of that… Just SAY IT!! (It won’t hurt – I promise) (Disclaimer – this promise is supposed to be short and sweet). Sometimes these short and sweet things can lead to a really long lasting things. Who knows what the future holds. You might miss out on the greater things in life, if you ignore these things…

(The part of the blog is dedicated to a friend of mine, who showed me things in a different light).

Maybe mine was the skewed perception, or just my perception (Don’t they mean the same?) Anyway, the new feeling is that both long lasting and short and sweet are a state of mind… long lasting is just wanting the short and sweet moment again and again, and then at one moment you might decide that this is too boring, and name it either long lasting or short and sweet, because that again depends on the relativity of time… what might have seemed like long lasting to you could have just been a moment for me.. So generalizing this is quite out of scope… In a way , never hope for long lasting, if you keep wanting the short and sweet for a long long time… then you have got yourself a long lasting thing… else it was meant to be just short and sweet…(Makes life simpler to live – without much thought)

PS : - Inspired from the telugu movie Oye. I know, me and telugu… but yes – life changes!!

-Irrespective of all of the nonsense I just wrote, we all know what we belong to.

So let me know what type are you?

-short and sweet

-long lasting

-A mix of both (Don't be diplomatic and pick this option! Be truthful for once!!)

-I don't have the slightest clue - Why in the world do you ask such question?!? (Escapists - please make an attempt)

-

Picture Perfect

I know, I know it's been a really long time and 6 months is just not acceptable... I accept - I'm guilty of this crime, but I hope I will be pardoned after this post has been read.

Disclaimer:
All the lines, words and situations described in the below text are purely fictional. They bear no resemblance to any person living or dead. It’s written only for the purpose of entertainment and is to be taken in that spirit. Enjoy!


She is lying on her bed, cuddled in his arms… She can hear the rain droplets falling on the roof… The sound can be so soothing… It’s really cold today… she moves closer to him, his warm breath falls on her cheek and makes her blush like a newlywed bride. She looks outside the window; she sees green trees among clouds and fog. It’s very misty outside but she can still see (maybe because she has seen the same scenery many times), far off in the horizon, she can see the sun rise slowly… piercing through the clouds, illuminating her entire world. She decides to wake him up, cranes her neck and looks up at him… He looks peaceful, calm, blissfully sleeping without a care for the world. She couldn’t wake him up, it was too hard for her… the sight she was watching was too wonderful for her to disturb. The sun rays pierce through the window, into her room… He’s awake now… He looks at her, her eyes are closed but he’s not sure if she’s awake or asleep… she’s laying in his arms… his angel... How he thought this was never possible. But it happened and it was true. She was his own now.She was here with him, for now and forever… he can’t resist it any longer… he moves closer, gives her a soft kiss on her lips and whispers “Good morning , I love you sweetie” in her ears. She smiles… Oh my god her smile!! Wasn’t it the smile that had started it all? She doesn’t even open her eyes and returns his whispers with hers – “I love you too”. It was not a phrase they used very often in their relationship… It was given; it was an unsaid premise… They used the phrase judiciously… Somehow neither felt the need to say it again and again… It was picture perfect. Neither was willing to move, neither wanting to say anything… the silence, the falling of raindrops, the chill of the winter… It was a dream, which had come true. Suddenly there was a loud thud… a banging noise Bang! Bang! Bang! She opened her eyes, it was not cold anymore, she rushed to the door – there was no one at the door, she turned back to look at him. He wasn’t there, she came closer, moved the blanket around, where had he gone? He was right here… She moved the pillows, removed the sheets, looked under the bed, as though he had hid himself from her… But no, he wasn’t there, maybe he never was, she couldn’t make it out. Was it a dream? How could a dream be so real? It couldn’t be a dream, his breath on her cheeks, the warmth, the happiness she felt, the joy, all of it was real, then how could it be a dream. Something had happened, but she couldn’t make it out. Reality called upon her, she looked at the watch, it was time to go to office. Hastily she spread the sheets back on her bed, set the pillows right and rushed into the bathroom. The only question that lingered in her head was - Was it really a dream? How could it be a dream? Where did he go? Will he come back again? Will she ever feel the way she felt when in his arms?

NOTE:

The idea of this post that I wanted to see if everyone could associate with the scene that I had set up. Could all of you relate to that kind of happiness? When you read it, were you transported to that location, did all of you imagine yourself in that bed? Let me know. Leave a comment.