Is it really possible to do anything "Unconditionally"? Is it possible to do things without expecting anything from anyone? Is it fair? Is it healthy? Does it happen? (Let me guess what you guys are thinking - oh god!! She's back to her questioning self - but just bear with me - I'm good at this). Of late, I've been really busy with work and I have had really no time to "think"(In spite of having no time to think I come up with this? Ya - that's me), but still this question has been bothering me. Is it possible to work like crazy and not expect the least amount of recognition for your work? What if you have to put up with a job that sucks, that doesn't have a ounce of job satisfaction, a team that sucks even more, a boss who doesn't give a shit about you and still work day in and day out and not feel a thing? Is it possible to say "I love you" everyday without ever being reciprocated? You think you are with a person who doesn't care much for you, but your life revolves around this person, you wake up - he's the first thing on your mind(I'm a she, so it's gotta be a he - I'm not sexist), you go to sleep at night and he is the last thought on your mind, why does it matter if he thinks of you the same way?
We all have relationships in our lives, some that we have names for, some that we don't have names for, some that we take for granted, some that we get paid for, some we pay for some random acquaintances and some just people. I think we are all very greedy people we always need to be told and acknowledged... Deep down we are not sure what we are exactly, and we like to be told, how great we are or how stupid we are. So the assumption is that NO - there can't be anything that is unconditional - but what if there can? Have you ever tried doing that? Being all self satisfied and just doing what you want to do independent of everything and everyone. Can we do it? Let me know if you have any answers...
(I know heavy duty - but it's nice to think once in a while... :)..)
15 comments:
UNCONDITIONAL ANYTHING.....
Srini,
You know me.... and i say yes..... it is possible to give unconditionally.... May be not in all relations.... But there are relations in life.... where doing things for others is important to us not because that will make them happy but more importantly because we are happy when they are satisfied....
I am just trying to say that sometimes..... in some relations.... Just seeing that smile or satisfaction on that person's face matters..... But again we can argue that we are doing it for seeing that smile.....
But just wanting to see that smile is not a real condition is what I believe......
I strongly believe it is possible to give something unconditionally.... BUT not in just any relation.... This relation should be special... like your mom's love for you(mind you not a child's love for their mom)......
Jyothi....
Hmmm..Another nice post!!I had this thought for quite a long time especially after moving away
from my home town..am glad you put it down...
Coming back to the question, I guess you need immense patience and a carefree attitude to achieve
this "Unconditional Anything"..though it totally depends on what aspect of life you're trying
to implement. I don't say its easy but it depends on an individual's priorities in life.
Here's my take on this, I guess I have kinda applied it in some scenarios and the results
are amazing..gives you a lot more peace of mind and happiness..I mean, come on, life is so short,
so we can't keep thinking of "what we don't have" or "what we could've done" ..so might as well
keep yourself happy with those few nice little things that leave a smile on your face as soon as
you wake up (provided, you see the brighter side of them)..so, for now just "Think Simple"..! works like a charm :)
-
Khushi
Hey Jyo!! (Thanks for dropping by...)
Mom's love for their child... Now that's a tricky one... Is it unconditional or do mom's need acknowledgement too? It's a good question and I don't have an answer... I think it varies based on the person(type of mom)...
Thanks for giving me something to think about... :)
Hi Khushi,
I know "Unconditional Anything" = Whole lot of peace in life. Most dissatisfaction in life is simply because you are not content, if you stop expecting and just do your part then you are content. Even I'm trying to apply it to my life and the results are still being processed... Will let you know...
hi srini,
nice thing to think about...
well even i have given a thought for a momemt.. is it possible? to give unconditionally... anything??
i think it is yes..
not only mom's love for her child, but there are many cases where you could find someone doing something for someone (who is sooooo special for them)... i cant give you examples... it is possible...
Hi Sudha,
Nice to see you here...I think women are genetically equipped to give unconditionally, but how about men?
hhmmmm... to even think of if, one can give unconditionally, i gess one should first think Y should one have to give unconditionally???? if one thinks that one should do it, then he/she must be pretty clear asto whose sake that one is doing something or wt for ??? is the one in question .. in obligation? in love? is guilty? is feeling sympathy? or just feels empathy? when one is clear asto wt is being done and Y? then, not expecting anything in return is possible in almost evry relation that one fulfills evryday... knowingly or unknowingly... if one loves another, then it may not matter anymore, if the love is reciprocated.. as long as the lover is happy and his\her every need is being met and their sole emotion is happiness and joy.. there is nothing more required in return... no acknowledgment.. no respect nothing.. bt even then, the "opportunity to provide for, .. help, and take care " must be provided in return... right?? so, can one actually be unconditional here? one needs to be provided by such a situation to serve another unconditionally to do so rite? then again is it not a condition in itself?? is one clear at all, of the notion of "unconditional" ? to make this possibly completely correct in it's true sense.. one may even have to consider the condition of taking a liability or a chance to help, or serve, or love.. or even give.. not only the material requests of acknowledgment and love,, and wt not and wt else... so, ... wt is this "unconditional anything" one speaks of? it is just not to seek positive things in return and to expect all the liabilities .. or work .. ? is it just the trivial mattr of wt one sees only dat one deals with? or does one have to be ever present and even the things one can't see must be felt and dealt with to be called as "unconditional" ??? or, could it just be a term one uses to self elevate and to attribute great selflessness to oneself? or just to evoke pity from one's mates.. or colleagues.. or friends? can one just use it as a phrase and not actually be meaning it? because clearly.. one cant do anything unconditionally without even the condition of something being done to exist??? then is this entire thing just a farce??? think .. think... if you feel confused read again.. and again.. until you truly discover what i mean... i haven't rittn just any hocus pocus to confuse or ridicule you... bt to truly be able to see all walks of life.. you'd have a fair idea of wt i have meant above... then, tell me if this "unconditional anything" even exists ??? let alone one satisfying it.....
one could sey that one would do anything now "unconditionally" for someone's sake.. bt then, "this" usage ... in the current scenario is only a one-time one.. so, again ... one can't actually claim to be "unconditional" anything at all!! to do it once is just being Obedience without questioning.. or, is this it?? that this is, .. the "unconditional" one was referring to earlier? just a one-timer??? or, could one repeat this one-timer again and again and make it seem like a complete full???? so, making it just an illusion of a half complete truth?
if one sey's, .. one gives unconditionally provided that one is given the chance.. or provided that one is given the due respect... or provided that one is given the due acknowledgment.. or obedience. and love.(in case of mom). or compliance.. (in case of boss or teammate.. or colleague.. or friend).. does this end here????
should one give unconditionally to ppl according to wt one feels of the other one? or wt the other one is ???should one be partial? then in that case it becomes tainted by expectation rite? one will not be partial if one expects nothing in return.. one will not even notice.. the other in such a case.. let me be more clear::assume that you'd give anything unconditionally to your mom, bt not so to your neighbor... then is it really unconditional? she is your ma n so, expecting her to acknowledge it, or reciprocate it or at least appreciate it.. u'd do such a thing bt then, how can it be unconditional at all??? those VERY things then; would be your condition rite? i.e;. if your neighbor was also giving u, serving u, respecting u, loving u .. and doing all sorts of things ur ma does, then u'd think of being unconditional to them kya? then how wuld it be unconditional at all???? then, could this "unconditional" that u've talked of till now be just a racket to make urself feel better? or just to boost one's own self esteem? Y should u want to serve one unconditionally??? i gess.. one such condition comes to my mind.. where this could not be a farce.. atleast not completely... :-
if u have loved one and expected sumthin in the past,... bt are not really bothered anymore.. and u still wish to do anything that comes to ur path and thereby do something and not care if it results in anything other than the task completion... could this not be unconditional? here , one doesn't condition anything.. just takes things for granted and does wt one has to do... bt could it be "unconditional" like how u meant it to be as in the previous messages\comments? wouldn't it just be carelessness and laziness.. not to do anything for anyone.. until it crosses ur path.. else its not ur headache???? can one accept such a behavior to be "unconditional" ? for that is wt it means... to propose or even think of any conditions at all rite? waddaya think?
NOW, let me come to wt srinija seems to find ... that only "women" seem ""genetically equipped to give unconditionally"" ... why??? because they have the same type of XX chromosomes??? or because their genetic buildup is a much more complex affair??? or because they are modeled to be more emotional? or because they are manufactured in a way to be able to see ridiculous reasons in even utter chaos?? or because they are equipped with an urge to conquer and overrule by birth.. (and hence they are said to be more caring... which is obtained by the tendency to protect.. hold in embrace=hold under command...) ??? or is it because of many more hundreds and thousands of proven and referable facts that such a sentence could be forged???
i gess rather than gender.. miss, non-sexist!! its more likely to do with the "emotional-mental-situational-hormonal-behavioral-and, way of life acquired by people" that, people follow... cos of any reason... no?
Hi Drec,
Thanks for putting in your comments, I think you feel pretty strongly about the subject, maybe you should write a blog instead. Just to clarify, I said women were genetically equipped to be unconditional, but I definitely did not mean men cannot do it... It just means its more natural to women...That's all... Don't be offended Dude!! Keep visiting...
hahahahaha... well, u could as well have askd me to shut-up the way sed it hahahahah ya... hmm .. good :) sure, my pleasure ..
Barney Stinson,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlA61LlqaV8
Hie Srini,how r u re?hope gud...
Any one in this world will tend to choose to shower unconditional love to the deserving person only...and that deserving person will certainly value may be in any form and that pinch of satisfaction we humans always expect at some or other point...we humanbeings living in this bias world...very rarely lucky enough to meet deserving people in our lives...Obviously every parent showers unconditional love to their childrens in addition they have lot of expectations from us to create an identity or fame or independent or a better person and ofcourse this all they want us for our wellbeing only but here i would say an indirect implications are happening then where this can be a complete uncontional love existing ...i mean i just portrayed the facts and nothing against cos i understand its all we that created ....From my point of view an "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE " title suits only for 'Mother teresa' and may be many other people out there whom i donno doing services(form of love) to people....
VANDANA.
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