Have you ever heard of it? Don't be surprised if you haven't, cause I just coined a new word(Mental note: Need to inform the Oxford guys), well it's actually an apt name for what is happening all around me. Well to not talk in riddles anymore I'm referring to arranged marriage here. Don't go... ooh!! You mean that, it's no less that any match fixing scandal..
I have no clue what happens to parents once their daughters reach a "certain age" - oh! The coveted certain age. They become all mushy mushy about you, and start treating you like, how long is this going to last anyway.. OK, if I stop being cynical, they give all that you ask for, do what you like and basically treat you like a spoiled brat(Of course all this is totally to our advantage - Guys miss out on this).This being the good part, there is much deeper, darker side to it. The dark side is they ask you these questions, questions which previously never ever occurred to you, let's have a look at some of them
- Would you like to marry a NRI? (Is that a qualification, really?)
- How older should he be than you? (Does older mean more mature or more stupid?)
- How tall should he be? (Shouldn't be shorter than me..)
- Is it OK if he has a big family? ( Like I'll gun down the family, if I happen to like the guy)
I mean, come on guys... But mind you, I know people who have very very very specific answers for all these questions, like I want a guy who is exactly 6 feet, and is working in a big bank in UK(used to be USA, not so long ago). He should be exactly 4 years older than me and can have a big family, provided it's not a joint family and he should have only sisters, not brothers. Phew!! now that's what you call is explain in detail!!
Then comes the even more arduous task of photos and resumes and shortlisting the candidates - Unfortunately, I think Indian parents are the only ones still left with this task. To be fair to them, what else do you expect from them - they need to get rid of you one way or the other. We as Indians, know the procedure and know the system and know from a very very young age that this is how it works, but somehow I can't get my head around, why things got to be so so complex.
An analogy similar to Chetan bhagat's theory on love marriage in India, arranged marriage is not so different.
Boy likes girl's photo, girl likes boy's photo,
Girl's family likes boy's family, boy's family like girl's family,
Boy girls horoscopes should match - they are perfect for each other astrologically(If only it was so simple to find Mr.Right, all girls would have mastered astrology by now)
Boy sees girl, girl sees boy (implied their families do the same thing)
Boy talks to girl, girl smiles sheepishly ( of course, this is point of no return, but its still a formality which makes parents believe, they have given us a choice)
Finally they decide to get married... Now, that's what you call is systematic procedure(Wonder, why marriages go bad even after all this!!)
Now you must be thinking that finally it's done right - WRONG!! The biggest task actually starts now, Marriage is a really complex procedure in India, from the photographer to the place where you will get married, from what the guy will wear on the reception night to what the bride's younger sister(actually cousin - and prospective bride to be) will wear at the marriage, from what the guy's family got to give the girl to what the girl's family got to give the guy, who gets invited, who doesn't, who gets what kind of return gifts, what return gifts to give, the wedding cards..the list goes on...it's all one big, really complex procedure which is way too difficult from me to explain!
The again, why can't things be simple, is a simple traditional marriage in a temple with just close relatives, not marriage enough? For atheists, is register marriage such a bad idea?
After all the hullabaloo, the pair is finally left to flourish/decimate themselves... Simple right? Now this is a match fixed to perfection...
PS:- This post is meant to be taken in the lighter vein, I obviously appreciate what our parents do for us, respect the institution of marriage and mean no disrespect to this system.
