Marriage - Shaadi - Le Mariage

Marriage seems to be the topic of the day rather year... so here goes...


The one is dedicated to a close friend is embarking this banal yet atypical experience. To Sowmini and Sandeep and of course to a person who inspired the painting. This is my way of wishing them a lifetime of love, trust and caring.


Marriage? What is marriage?


The meaning of marriage has changed as I have grown up, when I was about 7 or 8, marriage was the "ghar ghar" game that I used to play. I would play the mum who cooks all the time and takes care of the kids, some bloke would play the dad who would go to work, be the breadwinner and some other kids(usually younger or shorter than us) would be the children.


Maybe at about 13 or 15 I think I realised that someday, someday I might have to get married and leave this home and start my own life, but never spent too much thought on it as a there was lots of time for it...( I was wrong, time just flew... )


At about 18, marriage seemed like the most fitting ending to any romance, felt like I would fall in love with this handsome prince charming and he would whisk me away to this amazing " la la" land and that's when I will be married...


At about 21, I think reality striked... I realised there is no "la la" land and all the work, responsibilities that I would have to do. Basically I realised how much work my mom does, and it struck me like that I would have to fulfill exactly that role in somebody's home (Trust me there is nothing more scarier that this - A salute to all the moms and wives who keep it all together and make this society function).
So, whenever the topic came up at home, I kept saying - "I'm not ready for it.", "Let's give it some more time", "I'm too young", "I haven't done anything in life" etc etc...


I'm 23 now, just about bordering on 24 and I think now I've come to a level ground, Marriage is not a whirlwind romance, it's definitely not just whole lot of responsibilities and work.
I read this quote somewhere -
"In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy.  The truth is precisely the opposite:  it begins all.  ~Anne Sophie Swetchine"
I think marriage is when you can actually say and meant it that "Your life has just begun".


It seems like a logical extension to your life, you don't want to stay with your parents anymore(reason - want more independence), friends have grown so apart that an occasional mail is only time you get to hear them. I suppose marriage is like a big promotion at work, you get more money(he works you work), you have fringe benefits(you always have one person whom you can go to, to annoy, to love, to crib, to laugh with...), you have perks(Bigger family, more friends, more people who care for you and your well being) but at the same time you have more work(Subeh subeh khana kaun banayega?), more responsibilities(Two sets of parents to take care of) etc etc... You got to get the promotion at one point or the other, or else work will always be the same, it brings in monotony...


The bond itself doesn't cease to amaze me...I've seen couples who have spent so many years of their lives together, 30 years,50 years , oldest couple I personally know is into their 63rd year of marriage. I wonder what it feels like to spend so many years of your life with another person. What do they talk about? Do they talk? When I say talking I don't meant like how you talk to a colleague at work, really talk... Do they?
A friend of mine pointed out that with the invention of mobile phones, today's generation spends way too much time talking to each other even before getting married, the concern here is that if you talk so much over the phone about every damn detail in your life, then will there any conversation be left for the rest 40 years that you are supposed to spend with each other?I found this to be a fair enough argument, but then I realized, have you ever got bored of talking to your Dad? Your Mom? No right, the reason being even though it's the same person, everything around you is always changing... in fact even you and that other person is also constantly evolving... so the conversation you have today bears no consequence of what you might talk about the next/previous day. Life just rolls on... which is what makes marriage the perfect next step in human evolution at an individual level.


Ending a long article by once again wishing them loads of luck for officially "Starting their own life".


PS: - I know I'm not a expert on the subject(esp cause I'm not married) but I felt like sharing my thoughts on the subject.