Marriage - Shaadi - Le Mariage

Marriage seems to be the topic of the day rather year... so here goes...


The one is dedicated to a close friend is embarking this banal yet atypical experience. To Sowmini and Sandeep and of course to a person who inspired the painting. This is my way of wishing them a lifetime of love, trust and caring.


Marriage? What is marriage?


The meaning of marriage has changed as I have grown up, when I was about 7 or 8, marriage was the "ghar ghar" game that I used to play. I would play the mum who cooks all the time and takes care of the kids, some bloke would play the dad who would go to work, be the breadwinner and some other kids(usually younger or shorter than us) would be the children.


Maybe at about 13 or 15 I think I realised that someday, someday I might have to get married and leave this home and start my own life, but never spent too much thought on it as a there was lots of time for it...( I was wrong, time just flew... )


At about 18, marriage seemed like the most fitting ending to any romance, felt like I would fall in love with this handsome prince charming and he would whisk me away to this amazing " la la" land and that's when I will be married...


At about 21, I think reality striked... I realised there is no "la la" land and all the work, responsibilities that I would have to do. Basically I realised how much work my mom does, and it struck me like that I would have to fulfill exactly that role in somebody's home (Trust me there is nothing more scarier that this - A salute to all the moms and wives who keep it all together and make this society function).
So, whenever the topic came up at home, I kept saying - "I'm not ready for it.", "Let's give it some more time", "I'm too young", "I haven't done anything in life" etc etc...


I'm 23 now, just about bordering on 24 and I think now I've come to a level ground, Marriage is not a whirlwind romance, it's definitely not just whole lot of responsibilities and work.
I read this quote somewhere -
"In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy.  The truth is precisely the opposite:  it begins all.  ~Anne Sophie Swetchine"
I think marriage is when you can actually say and meant it that "Your life has just begun".


It seems like a logical extension to your life, you don't want to stay with your parents anymore(reason - want more independence), friends have grown so apart that an occasional mail is only time you get to hear them. I suppose marriage is like a big promotion at work, you get more money(he works you work), you have fringe benefits(you always have one person whom you can go to, to annoy, to love, to crib, to laugh with...), you have perks(Bigger family, more friends, more people who care for you and your well being) but at the same time you have more work(Subeh subeh khana kaun banayega?), more responsibilities(Two sets of parents to take care of) etc etc... You got to get the promotion at one point or the other, or else work will always be the same, it brings in monotony...


The bond itself doesn't cease to amaze me...I've seen couples who have spent so many years of their lives together, 30 years,50 years , oldest couple I personally know is into their 63rd year of marriage. I wonder what it feels like to spend so many years of your life with another person. What do they talk about? Do they talk? When I say talking I don't meant like how you talk to a colleague at work, really talk... Do they?
A friend of mine pointed out that with the invention of mobile phones, today's generation spends way too much time talking to each other even before getting married, the concern here is that if you talk so much over the phone about every damn detail in your life, then will there any conversation be left for the rest 40 years that you are supposed to spend with each other?I found this to be a fair enough argument, but then I realized, have you ever got bored of talking to your Dad? Your Mom? No right, the reason being even though it's the same person, everything around you is always changing... in fact even you and that other person is also constantly evolving... so the conversation you have today bears no consequence of what you might talk about the next/previous day. Life just rolls on... which is what makes marriage the perfect next step in human evolution at an individual level.


Ending a long article by once again wishing them loads of luck for officially "Starting their own life".


PS: - I know I'm not a expert on the subject(esp cause I'm not married) but I felt like sharing my thoughts on the subject.

Hot and Spicy!

Sounds like a page 3 article right? Well this one is going to be like that...

I think there is something fundamentally wrong in the selection capabilities of men. I mean every guy wants a girl who is "hot" (Some would be honest enough to admit the truth, others are talented enough to say they aint that shallow) . Yes they all want girls in Shilpa Shetty shorts and tank tops with open hair and tattoos in sexy places... hmmm... if all of them want them then... what is the problem? Well that's exactly the problem, they all just "want" them... but that girl will never be the one to meet his mom ; reason - "arree yaar! Woh tho bohot fast hai" (Translated - Hey! You want me to take a slut to meet my mom?). I mean come on guys! To take home... for that they need different type of girls, they want girls in salwars, who are soft spoken and demure, who have their hair tied up neatly... I mean what is the problem here...

See, all of you guys want a girl who is okay with your beer drinking, but if she herself can down a peg or two, then it ain't acceptable.. She should be modern and open minded but god forbid she wears a skirt in front of your parents. I mean isn't this hypocrisy at its best... ?

To make it concise they all want someone like the heroine in Ye Maya Chesave(Telugu movie, Vinayathandi Varuvaya - Tamil version), someone who is hot as well as hmmm what's the word  - traditional. I sympathize with guys for having to go through this tough tough picking process, girls on the other hand spend time on the frivolous process of finding a good guy(The truth here is they can make any guy look good, ask Hitler's wife, what a hero he was..), rather I would say a guy who is into them...

Okay but here is a twister for all the boys... What if you find the "homely girl" , the type you can take home... but on talking to her, you realise you are her fifth guy this year, she can down more vodkas than you and she wants to finally settle down with you - Is that okay? (Imagine the scene in Namastey London when Katrina Kaif gives Ritesh Mukherjee the shock of his life). Now isn't the hot girl better here - atleast she is showing what she is? Doesn't honesty count? Boys... think about what you want?

This article is dedicated to everyone around me cause matchmaking seems to be the only plausible topic for everyone...

PS:- I know all guys don't think alike, generalization has been made to make the post readable, for once I did not want to be diplomatic. So all the offended guys - Bring it on! And females, now you the know the little secret that every man harbours in his head... use it as you see fit... Enjoy!

Educating?

Of late I have been wondering(Ya ya... I know some of you think how jobless can she be to have time to wonder... but, that's me) , what is EDUCATION really? Once the child hits the age of 3, we push them off to the most popular play school which is then followed by a even more popular school... I'm 23 now and I keep thinking what is it that I have learned really? What have we learnt in school, in college and what part of that do we really use in our daily lives? There is so much concentration these days on how many marks, what grades, which career path a child chooses but I wonder what is the ultimate purpose of it all? Fine, let's make a assumption, let's take a child, aces in all his classes, tops his tenth boards, heads for IIT's and then makes it to the cream (IIM-A is my guess), lands himself in a job with a 6/7 digit monthly salary, fine...all's well and good... but what next? I mean what is the purpose of it all ? A job with a huge salary? Financial security? Ensuring social status? Is that all that we want for our children? I mean, have we become so materialistic that for 22-25 years all we let the child think about is the so called "education" so that he can have a rich villa house,drive a merc and shop in malls in the weekends?
Don't get me wrong, it's all very nice, I mean ya having a job with shit loads of money is awesome, but really is having a 4/5 digit salary so bad? Is travelling in second class so horrible? Is it really that unimaginable to eat at home everyday? Does taking the bus/ or going by walk to office really hamper your social status?
If you answered 'No' to any of the above then read on... okay, you are a genius, very smart and very intelligent, but is that really a requirement to live a peaceful life? I'm not saying intelligence is bad, it's good, in fact very good, but I'm just trying to say that isn't it just another asset in life. I mean, it's good if you it, but it aint the end of the world if you haven't got it. Isn't the purpose of life to be happy, to love, to share and care for another... and live a life of satisfaction and contentment.
More than marks, more than grades, more than salaries I think we should be teaching/educating them(I'm not sure how many of us have this skill) on how to live life, how to actually go through life with the proper attitude, go through life in peace.

As always readers, please comment.

PS: I know I talked a lot about children in this one, it's not like I'm going to have kids anytime soon.. :P but its because now it's too late to change how we were bought up. The damage is done in our case, so here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Unconditional Anything

Is it really possible to do anything "Unconditionally"? Is it possible to do things without expecting anything from anyone? Is it fair? Is it healthy? Does it happen? (Let me guess what you guys are thinking - oh god!! She's back to her questioning self - but just bear with me - I'm good at this). Of late, I've been really busy with work and I have had really no time to "think"(In spite of having no time to think I come up with this? Ya - that's me), but still this question has been bothering me. Is it possible to work like crazy and not expect the least amount of recognition for your work? What if you have to put up with a job that sucks, that doesn't have a ounce of job satisfaction, a team that sucks even more, a boss who doesn't give a shit about you and still work day in and day out and not feel a thing? Is it possible to say "I love you" everyday without ever being reciprocated? You think you are with a person who doesn't care much for you, but your life revolves around this person, you wake up - he's the first thing on your mind(I'm a she, so it's gotta be a he - I'm not sexist), you go to sleep at night and he is the last thought on your mind, why does it matter if he thinks of you the same way?

We all have relationships in our lives, some that we have names for, some that we don't have names for, some that we take for granted, some that we get paid for, some we pay for some random acquaintances and some just people. I think we are all very greedy people we always need to be told and acknowledged... Deep down we are not sure what we are exactly, and we like to be told, how great we are or how stupid we are. So the assumption is that NO - there can't be anything that is unconditional - but what if there can? Have you ever tried doing that? Being all self satisfied and just doing what you want to do independent of everything and everyone. Can we do it? Let me know if you have any answers...
(I know heavy duty - but it's nice to think once in a while... :)..)

Another year is coming to close(In fact, it already will have by the time I post this one). All day(31st Dec) I kept asking people, "How was this year for you?" and it was nice to see the kind of responses I got. The diplomats that they are, some said - it was just OK, some got all philosophical as to how they can't say and that it all depending on their mood, some said it was an amazing year, for others it was the worst year of their life as they had lost a loved one. A mixed bag of answers really, as for me, well its been an absolutely amazing year - SIMPLY FABULOUS!! ( I know you are looking for a but here, but there isn't a but). I've got to meet some really amazing people and really got a chance to look at things in a different perspective. So this year(2009) is FAB, a gut feeling says that 2010 is going to be big, big for everyone(My gut isn't always right, but its a nice feeling when it's positive)
If you remember my last years post at about new year time, apart from the fact that it was crappy, it was also very negative. Things have changed a lot since then, and its a nice feeling to know I have a changed view of things. A good friend of mine told me that this(New Year Celebrations) was one occasion that the entire world celebrated without any caste,creed or color barriers and now after exactly one whole year, I think I understand what my friend meant(Yes, I am thick headed sometimes).
So here's wishing all my readers(if any) a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May all of you work hard and party harder!!

Continuing my signature style... I'm leaving you with a question.
How has 2009 been for you?