Delhi after 2.5years... and Life after a MBA

Fire love(in low resolution)

Disclaimer: All view's expressed about Delhi are purely personal. No intentions to hurt anyone's love for this land.

So, it’s obvious this post is about Delhi(not Dilli) and me … When I was first coming to Delhi, I was super excited, coming to the country’s capital, the land of paratha’s and chole bhatura’s, the land that belongs to none and still has everyone, the land where Indian Polity comes for its climax. But after spending about 900 days here, I regret to inform that this place is nothing like I had hoped for it to be. I feel it has lost its old world charm (You must be like Huh! What does she know, I lived here about 20 years ago) and has become a place that belongs to NOONE. The place has become truly and utterly chaotic… it starts from the weather to the traffic, from homes to basic safety needs, from your neighbors to the random road rage. It’s plain crazy!!

Delhi is so cruel in terms of weather – “garmi aisi ki kaha nahi jaye and sardi aisi ki saha nahi jaye” and in between you have the great monsoon that Delhites are least prepared for. For me personally you have only two months in Delhi – summer and winter. From April to October you have summers, and please bear in mind that this is all kinds of summers, from the dry raw heat to the sweaty, sticky humid heat. Okay, just to be fair I need to mention that Delhi does have a monsoon too, but unlike most places where the monsoon brings down the temperature, in Delhi what is does is it modifies the dry raw head to a sweaty, sticky and humid heat. And since Delhi is not supposed to receive much rain, you can just imagine the mayhem on Delhi roads post a tiny drizzle. From October starts winter… for the first two months you will be like, “This is Okay… I can enjoy this weather.” Enter December!! Your hands and legs freeze up like ice in the arctic. The amount of time it takes you to get dressed (with all the winter wear) is crazy!! It’s like getting ready to go on WAR! (The good thing about this is that it allows you to forget about your figure – everyone looks about the same considering the amount of clothing we wear).

I guess Delhi is currently so very representative of my life after MBA – it’s utterly and truly chaotic. Not sure if it’s my inability/incompetence or how life just is… but managing a home and working is turning out to be one mammoth task for me. It feels like I just do not have any time for myself. Life has become one big circle, starting point home, ending point home and in between there’s WORK. My friends keep telling me that I will get the hang of it – eventually… but it seems like a distant dream.

Bringing my focus back to Delhi, I guess the chaos is not limited to this place. All the big cities have their share of chaos, each their own flavor, but yes chaos none the less. Now when I travel to smaller towns, I can visibly see the difference in the pace of life. It’s a much more relaxed life… I wonder if some day we would be facing the phenomenon of reverse urbanization – People leaving chaotic cities to live in the calming countryside. Now that would be some sight – wouldn’t it?

PS: -Check out the number of times I’ve used the word crazzzyyyy – goes on to show my state of mind.

At cross roads

After a long long hiatus, I’m back, back with something profound and deep. It’s something that I believe needs everyone to ponder on to really realize the power of the idea.

So, finally I’m done with my formal education (I say formal because I believe education happens throughout your life). With two decades of education (14 years of schooling, 4 years of graduation and 2 years of post graduation) behind me I still find myself at crossroads. Maybe it’s an assumption that I am making, but I believe that our generation is struck between two worlds. One is the world that belonged to our parents and one is a world that could be ours that we ‘think’ we want.

My generation is programmed to achieve, to compete, to on the top and being second is just not good enough. The focus for us is education from good schools and college which will lead to good money, growth etc. But are we missing out on LIFE instead? Are we focused only on our work? How about a day just to contemplate on how life is? How about reading that book that could change the way you perceive the world? How about a fun evening with the street kids that made you go back to your childhood? What about those lovely summer vacations you took to your grandparents place? How much money/ growth do you think you need to have to get that summer break to you grandparent’s house? Haven’t we somewhere lost the purpose of it all?

Possibly it’s a phenomenon that not just the generation but the whole country is suffering. ‘Growth’ is the buzz word. But are we considering growth to be holistic and complete or are we just looking at the growth in a superficial sense. When we focus so much on growing an achieving are we really being holistic in our approach. Do we give equal importance to having a family and work? Are we as a country considering growth only as a something that is seen in GDP numbers or in terms of how safe our country is or how happy the country is?

We came up with the most important number ‘0’ and now our life is all about numbers. How good a kid is depends on the numbers in his report card, how well a person is doing depends on the numbers in his paycheck, how successful a person is depends on how many ‘years’ he took to get there, how good a product is depends on how costly it is… its numbers numbers numbers everywhere!!!

The reason I draw a parallel between the society and self is because I believe for a transformation to happen, it needs to start from the self. From self to the society – is the way to go. So maybe if each one of us makes an effort to be more holistic in our approach… we can together impact the way the society functions. So I guess it will be our generation that is struck at these crossroads, that has to take the decision, that has to give a direction for generations to come. But why me? Why do we have to take the call? Because fortunately we have been exposed to both these extremes and we are the only generation that can envision where each of these paths will eventually take us.

My time has come...

Photo courtesy: My wedding photographer - SKLensMagic

Disclaimer: This is a girl's perspective.

It is one of those paradoxical things in life. You want it sometimes and you don’t want it at others. People(especially boys and these days girls are joining in) always tend to swing like a pendulum in this aspect and that is “MARRIAGE”. I had earlier talked about how the meaning of marriage has changed over a period of time for me (Check out that post here), but now as I get closer to the actual act myself, my perspective seems to have changed, from an outsider to an insider.

(Fortunately/Unfortunately – Not sure which one should come) time has come for me to experience this exciting and treacherous journey. J :D K :/ L :’(

These are the emotions that I feel.
Strange? The weirdest part is you feel two ways about exactly the same thing.

INDEPENDENCE – finally you are going to be independent, you life is your own. “Yaaayyyy!!” In the very next second you feel, oh shit! That means I have to do everything on my own, from electricity bills to getting the vegetables, from getting a locker in the bank to making budget plans… you got to do it all. “Shitttt!”

NEW HOME – Now you can decorate things exactly the way you like. No ugly curtains. No shady bed sheets. Everything will be oooohh so perfect and propa! On the flip side that also means I got to do all the safai. Band ghar me itni dhul kahan se aati hai? Weekly dusting? How can I relax on weekends? Ek vase ke liye itne sare paise? Budgeting!! Monthly groceries?!?

NEW FAMILY – It’s just gonna be me and him. Life’s gonna be soo cool and perfect. Like a fairy tale. He understands me and my needs, unlike my parents, he’s from this generation right?(The same goes for me too) So…. Things won’t be the same, he will “GET” me. But what happens is… “Ghar itna late aaye?, ek phone nai kar sakthe thi?” “Tum apne socks washing machine me kyun nahi daal sakthe?” “Aaj khana kaun banayega?”

I’m not saying that none of the good’s happen only the bad’s do. All I’m saying is when you go into imagination mode, you feel diametrically opposite about the exact same thing => leading to all the more confusion.
It's like you are letting go of you childhood so to say... you are growing up in the truest sense.You are responsible to each other and for each other. It's a pact where you give away some and get some, the only way to make it a good deal is to cooperate and communicate with each other. So here's to hoping  that we can chat away to glory for the rest of our lives.
In the end all I can say is that no one can ever say whether it’s(marriage) good or it’s bad, at best they can say – “I need it and I want it”. We all do.